


Going Out for Coffee

by EndoratheWitch



Series: Gotham Nights [8]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Harley Quinn (Comics), Suicide Squad (2016), The Joker - Fandom
Genre: Coffee Shop, F/M, Grocery Shopping, Gun Violence, No abuse, Pumpkin Spice Latte, Sex, Shell Game - Freeform, crazies in love, mad love, murderous clowns, pretty silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-17 16:50:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11855724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EndoratheWitch/pseuds/EndoratheWitch
Summary: Harley craves a pumpkin spice latte but no one is selling them...





	Going Out for Coffee

The deal was this: if Harley could guess which card the ring was under, she could have the ring that Joker had stolen for her. It was a beautiful ruby and diamond ring. Where he had snatched it from she had no idea since she hadn't been with him (it had been her time of the month, which usually didn't stop her, but some days she just felt like staying in bed. Joker would usually go out and bring her a treat. He had brought her a treat that time too, but clearly he had held something back for this little game.) If Harley failed to guess which card the ring was under, Joker would be allowed to paint on her. He had somehow come across a case of body paints and was eager to use them on her. She was all for it, but he had insisted on the game for the ring so Harley had made the paints a condition. Now that they were playing though, she was wondering if she should have picked something he would be less excited about, because now he was determined to win and she knew he would cheat. 

With her hair in pigtails, Harley was dressed in her black and red leggings and a red tank top which she had painted on with fabric paint “Joker's wench.” She also had on one of Joker's dress shirts, a bright orange one thrown over her shoulders, her legs were folded up on the chair, her feet covered in a pair of slouchy red and white polkadot socks as she watched the cards intently trying to pay attention to every move Joker's hands made. He was sitting at the table wearing purple striped slacks, a yellow dress shirt, green ribbon tie and suspenders with a pair of yellow and green striped socks on. He had a cigarette sitting in the ashtray on the table, a thin trail of smoke slowly floating up while he grinned at her. He was smiling contently, moving the cards with his long fingers. 

“You're cute when you're concentrating so intently.” Joker chuckled. 

Harley snarled, her eyes never leaving his hands, “Shut up.” 

He grinned at Harley. “You watching sweets?” 

Harley glanced up at him and narrowed her eyes. “Yes, stop distracting me.” 

Joker chuckled. He moved the cards to one hand, shuffling them one-handed. He then reached up with his free hand to untie his tie, pulling the bright green ribbon through the collar of his shirt and tossed it away before unbuttoning the top four buttons of his shirt. Harley, who had gone back to glaring at the cards, glanced up and narrowed her eyes at him with a hiss. 

“I know what you're doing.” 

Joker smiled pleasantly, unbuttoning a few more buttons, pulling his shirt out of his slacks, leaving his suspenders up while he continued to shuffle the cards one-handed. 

Harley growled. “You stop that!” 

Joker grinned, leaving his shirt hanging open so that Harley could see his lean chest, her eyes wandered down to the flat muscles of his stomach, the expanse of pale skin. 

The bastard leaned back, continuing to easily shuffle the cards one-handed, then unbuttoned the top button of his slacks... 

Harley's mouth was watering. She was trying NOT to stare at him, but he knew exactly what he was doing. The urge to lick his stomach, bite his chest, to unzip his slacks...her hands sliding down his pants...the little moans he made when she touched him. It was all so...distracting!! 

Harley growled to herself. Damn him, he was doing it on purpose! Distracting her from the trick. He was such a jerk!! 

Joker began to shuffle the cards with both hands again. “All right, now watch closely.” 

He moved the cards quickly and Harley tried to follow his movements, but he shrugged and his damn shirt fell off his shoulders. 

Harley growled at him. “You're a jerk.” 

He chuckled. “I thought you always knew that sweets.” 

He shuffled and flipped the cards back into one hand, letting his dress shirt side down his arm, then switched the cards to the other hand, before he let the shirt fall off his other arm, leaving him completely naked from the waist up except for the suspenders. Harley looked up from watching the cards, swallowing down a little whine of want when she saw him sitting there bare-chested, a green curl having fallen forward across his brow. Then he grinned at her, licking his red lips when he caught her staring at him. 

Harley sniffed. “You jerk. I hate you.” 

Joker chuckled. “No you don't.” 

“Right now I do,” Harley muttered. 

Joker purred. “No you don't.” 

Harley pouted. “Shut up. I'm watching the cards.” 

Joker grinned laughing softly. 

Joker shuffled and flipped the cards with masterful grace, in a variety of clever ways then laid the cards out flipping them all up so she could see them all. On the corner of the table was the ruby ring he had stolen for her. He moved the ring over and slowly, so she could see, flipped the cards over, the last card covering the ring. He set the deck aside and hovered his hands over the cards. 

“The shell game my dear has been around since Ancient Greece and has even been seen in Medieval paintings. The earliest description of the game in a book was from 1670...” 

Harley didn't look up as she watched him moving the cards, sliding them along the table. The weird thing was, she noticed, that she couldn't hear the ring moving against the table. 

Joker grinned wide watching her while he spoke. “In the 1790's they called the game “thimblerig” because it was played with thimbles.” 

“Puddin, if you don't stop trying to distract me!! I swear!!” Harley growled low and menacing as she watched him moving the cards, but all it did was making Joker chuckle even more. 

He stopped moving the cards then snatched his hands back as he asked, “Okay sweets, where is the ring?” 

Harley narrowed her eyes. She was trying to see if any of the cards were different, bent more a little higher than the others perhaps... 

She reached over and snatched the middle card...nothing. 

Harley looked up giving him a sour face, but he was grinning like a cat. “Best two out of three?” 

“Yes.” 

Joker smiled and started again, both times Harley lost. Harley stood up with a growl pointing her finger at him. 

“I don't know how you did it, but you cheated!” 

Joker giggled getting to his feet. “Of course I did sweets! But now...strip Daddy wants to play with his paints!” 

Harley stomped over to the spot where he had laid out some old sheets, the paints waiting...because the bastard knew he was going to win. Harley stripped off all her clothing tossing them angrily onto the bed, but when she turned around Joker was standing a breath away from her, her nose bumped his. He grinned as he grabbed her hand and slid the ring onto her finger. 

“I would think by now sweets, you know I can't deny you anything.” He purred kissing the tip of her nose. 

Harley squealed, “Oh puddin!!” and threw her naked self into his arms. Joker wrapped his arms around her enjoying the feel of her soft, squishy breasts against his bare chest. 

He liked giving her things, though messing with her was just as much fun. 

Harley covered his mouth with hers, pressing her soft lips against his, breathing deep of his scent. Her tongue slid warm and wet against his mouth licking until he opened his lips. Joker willingly opened his mouth to her thankful kiss, enjoying the warm wet feel of her tongue in his mouth, the way her tongue would caress across his teeth. Joker growled, reaching down to squeeze her rear, becoming hard at the feel of her soft, firm ass in his hands. When he did, Harley squeaked and giggled, cupping his face in her hands. 

“Oh puddin...” she purred and started to lick his neck, long wet strokes like a cat, running up his neck. 

Joker's eyes rolled. “Oh now don't start that....I wanted to paint...” 

Harley giggled. “I can cheat too puddin...” she caught the lobe of his ear with her teeth which succeeded in making him groan loudly. 

“Harley...” He tried to sound threatening but failed, especially when she started to grind against him. Joker groaned. “Okay fine! Finger paints later!” He hefted her up into his arms causing her to squeal with delight before he threw her onto the bed. Harley giggled, bouncing, the old bed creaking loudly when she hit. Joker wrinkled his nose playfully at her, quickly shedding the rest of his clothing and threw himself on top of her. 

Harley yelped with delight her arms outspread to catch him. The poor bed groaned in protest when Joker flopped onto the bed. Joker immediately started to attack her neck with loud noises of 

“NommmmNommm...” 

Harley squealed. “That tickles!! Stop it!” 

Which only encouraged him more. Harley wrapped her arms and legs around him trying to wrestle him onto his back, but he kept up with the “nomming” adding tickling her sides to his attack. Harley laughed and shrieked. 

“PUDDIN!! Stop it!!” She laughed, still working to get him over onto his back, but he shifted his play biting to her breasts, his fingers finding the spot just at the joint of her hip and thigh that he knew for a fact was particularly ticklish and started to use his long fingers to attack. 

Harley gave up trying to roll him over and instead screamed with laughter. “STOP IT!!” 

Joker giggled. “What did you say?” 

“STOP!!” Harley was breathless, giggling. “I hate it when you're in a good mood!” 

Joker giggled and grabbed her arms, shifting his weight, which caused the bed to squeak loudly and pulled her arms over her head, locking her wrists in place with his hands as he grinned down at her. 

“Who is the clown prince of crime?” 

Harley wrinkled her nose at him panting. “You are.” 

“And who is the best villain in Gotham?” He lifted a green brow at her, his rosy-lipped smile spreading wide across his pale face, eyes dancing with mischief. 

Harley giggled struggling just a little. “You are. But—you're also a jerk.” 

Joker grinned. “Like the snake said, you know what I was...” He chuckled rubbing his nose against hers. “Guilty as charged toots!! Now come here, Daddy wants some sugar...” 

He released her wrists, pulling her up against him, enjoying the feel of her warm, silky body pressed against him. Harley moaned softly when he kissed her, wrapping her arms around his neck, melting into the satin warmth of his embrace and the pleasurable touch of his long, clever fingers that flowed down her side, over the swell of her hip before plunging between her legs. 

* 

It was much later in the evening, though for the clowns, it was fairly early. Harley was lying on the floor exhausted from their sexual Olympics. She was on her stomach with a contented grin on her face, her eyes a little heavy while Joker played with his body paints, creating smiley faces on her back. 

“You know what I could really go for puddin?” Harley mused, her eyes drifting closed. 

“What would that be my little peach?” Joker asked as he painted big smiles on her butt cheeks and giggled. 

“A pumpkin spice latte.” Harley smiled just thinking about it. 

Joker frowned. “Well, why don't we go get you one?” 

Harley sighed, dejected. “They ain't out yet puddin; not for another month I think.” 

Joker narrowed his eyes just slightly. “Well, that's stupid.” 

“I know! It's August! I mean I know it's hot and still sorta summer, but I really want one.” Harley sighed with a slight pout. 

Joker stood up. “If my girl wants a pumpkin spice latte...then that is what she shall have!” 

Harley rolled over. “But how puddin?” 

“Just get dressed, let Daddy take care of the rest!” The smile that slowly spread across his face matched the wicked gleam in his eyes. 

* 

Gotham Grounds was a fairly average coffee shop, with exposed brick walls, warm brown counter and table tops, a pastries display case and an overhead menu along with long, picture windows. John, a young man of average height and weight, a bland colorless individual who blended into the background of the coffee shop he worked in as just another drone, yawned and rubbed his face as he glanced at the time. Only another fifteen minutes and they could close the coffee shop doors! He was exhausted. Not that today had been all that busy, but he just hadn't slept well the night before and today dragged. He glanced over at Michelle who was sweeping the floor, Eric who was cleaning the machines and Rachel who was leaning on the counter looking like she was about to doze off. They all wore the same uniform, green shirt, khaki slacks and a little khaki colored ball cap, and they all wore equal expressions of weariness. The music, a soft, slow jazz playing in the background, didn't help the situation at all. At least when they closed shop, he could change the music, put on some industrial or techno funk. 

John glanced over at the only customers in the shop still, an elderly couple who regularly came in around eight o'clock and always stayed 'til closing. They ordered the same coffee and danishes and sat at the same table and chairs. Every. Day. 

John was thinking it might be safe to start closing out his register when the doors to the cafe suddenly burst open and two people he had seen on the news many times strolled in with four men behind them. 

Joker laughed and waved his gun around. “Hello everyone!! It's your LUCKY NIGHT!” 

John groaned. “Oh shit.” 

* 

Joker was looking particularly dapper tonight Harley thought as the two of them waltzed into the coffee shop. He had his green hair slicked back and was wearing a Dolce & Gabbana Black Check Velvet Tuxedo Jacket with a white shirt, black bow tie and spats on his shiny black oxfords. Harley, her white face paint in place, her black mask across her eyes, her arm in his with her mallet in her other hand, wore her own tux, but instead of a white shirt she had a red one and while Joker was hat-less, she had on a top hat, her hair down and framing her face. 

Behind them, their four henchmen, which included sweet and deadly Bob (dressed to match Harley in a black tutu with red ruffles over the top of the tutu, though he was also wearing black slacks and a black t-shirt with a red bow tied around the muzzle of his StG 44) and Frost, dressed in his usual black suit...though he did wear a red tie tonight. The other two, new hires (who Harley was betting might not make it through the night) were both dressed in black and white to match Joker. 

Joker giggled looking around as the four baristas hurried to form a small group behind the counter. 

Joker and Harley strolled toward the counter. Harley took in a deep breath through her nose smelling the warm delicious fragrance of coffee. Harley jumped up onto the counter crossing her legs, resting her mallet across her lap and tilting her top hat at an angle with a bright grin on her painted face while Joker leaned both elbows on the counter, his SIG Pro automatic pistol in his hand as he set his chin in his hands and grinned. “So I would like to order a pumpkin spice latte for my girl here.” 

John looked at his fellow baristas who all stared at him...damn that fucking promotion to shift leader! 

“Ah...sir. Umm...we are not selling those yet.” John smiled nervously, his eyes darting from Joker to the gun. 

“You know...” Joker leaned forward a little to look at John's name tag. “John. I don't really care about that. My sweet pumpkin wants a pumpkin spice latte and you are going to make her one.” Joker grinned, a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. 

John swallowed. “Ah...sir...we...we ah...don't have the stuff here to make one.” 

Joker twisted his lips making a sour expression. “Seriously?” 

“Seriously sir.” John smiled nervously, feeling sick. 

Joker glanced at Harley whose bottom lip was sticking out. Joker frowned turning back to John. “So what do you need to make one?” 

John glanced at everyone else...nope, no help there. “Ah, we need pumpkin spice syrup and pumpkin spice...spice sir.” 

Joker frowned. “That's it?” 

John looked at his fellow employees then nodded. “Yes sir.” 

Joker stood up with a groan. “Fine, come on John.” 

John thought for a minute that he was going to piss himself. “What?” 

Joker, who had started to head for the door, turned. “Come on, I'm taking you shopping, Johnny Boy!” he said in a tone that sounded as if it was supposed to be a pleasant surprise. “Harley, why don't you stay here, make sure the rest don't do anything stupid like call the police, okay peaches?” 

“Sure thing puddin!” Harley giggled, wiggling her rear so she slid on the counter. 

Motioning with his pistol, Joker called. “Okay John, let's go! Frost, you're with me—boys, stay here and help Harley. Bob, you want to stay with Harls or come with me?” Joker stopped at the doors of the cafe turning to look at Bob. 

Bob grinned and Harley laughed. “I think he wants to go shopping. I guess since you guys are going out, you want to grab some groceries?” 

Joker groaned dropping his shoulders with a pout. “Harley! Really?” 

Harley pouted right back. “We're out of a Froot Loops.” 

“Fine. Frost, stay with Harley since Bob is coming with me. Okay boys! To the Gotham superstore!” Joker grinned motioning with his gun, leading the tiny group out. 

* 

The Gotham superstore was a 24-hr convenience store that Harley and Joker robbed on a fairly regular basis. It wasn't that the store was especially big, or had a great selection, but it was because they had hit the place so much that there was an understanding between them and the owner. 

Joker and his gang raided the place so often that the owners had pretty much given up on calling the cops when they saw them coming. They never stole money, only groceries, so now it was a silent agreement between the two parties—the owners wouldn't do anything at all and Joker and Harley would do their grocery shopping and leave the place in peace....sometimes a lot messier than when they arrived, but everyone was still alive when they left. ,p>Tonight the owner, an elder Latino with snow white hair and a ready smile, happened to be working (he usually tried to work nights...just in case...) Joker burst through the doors with a wide grin throwing his arms up in the air. 

“JOKER'S HERE!!” He giggled and turned to see the owner at the one register in the store. “Hey Juan! Nice to see you old buddy!” 

Juan smiled. “Joker sir. Bob.” 

Bob waved. Juan pulled the microphone by the register speaking into it. “Everyone, please stop what you are doing. This will all be over in...” Juan glanced at Joker. Joker frowned rubbing his chin in thought. “Half an hour?” Joker glanced at Bob who nodded with enthusiasm. “ Half an hour it is!” Joker smiled at Juan who leaned into his microphone. 

“Half an hour.” 

Everyone who regularly shopped here knew the drill when Joker's men were in the store, or in this case, Joker himself; they simple stopped and waited. 

“Okay John, my friend...let's get some groceries!” Joker laughed giving John a push ahead of him while Bob grabbed a cart. 

* 

Harley groaned loudly rolling her head in exasperation. “OH. My. God. This music is so boring! Don't you guys have anything else?” Harley was still sitting on the counter, but now she was cross-legged. She had pulled out a cinnamon roll from the display case and was nibbling on it while Frost stood guard at the door and the other two men milled around clearly not sure what they were supposed to be doing. One of them, a thin guy that looked a lot like a rat Harley thought, stepped over to her. “Ah, Miss Quinn, shouldn't we...I don't know...take the money from the register?” 

Harley frowned at him. “Noooo...I'm here for a coffee.” 

The rat frowned looking at the terrified baristas, then over at the old couple who didn't seem the least bit shocked or distracted by what was going on. He shrugged. “We still get paid right?” 

Harley narrowed her eyes at the man then she motioned Frost over. Frost walked quickly to her side. “Yes Miss Quinn.” 

Harley held her hand out and Frost, without a word, handed her his pistol. The rat looked confused, but then Harley shot him in the face. The group of baristas all screamed as the thug's body dropped to the floor and blood, bone, and no small amount of brains spattered across the floor. The cafe's employees clung to each other as if they were drowning. The old couple didn't react except to glance over. 

Harley smiled. “Puddin would have done it if he were here, but he ain't. So shut up.” 

She glanced over at the other henchman who backed away and sat in one of the chairs. 

Harley smiled. “Good boy.” 

She handed Frost back his gun, then she groaned. “Ugh, can't you guys change the music?” She looked at the baristas, all of them hugging one another in a tight group. 

A young woman with long black hair relucantly nodded. “Ah yes ma'am. I can.” 

Harley grinned. “Good, go put on something I can dance to, 'kay?” Her blue eyes were wide and innocent as she smiled at the young woman. 

“Okay miss.” The barista quickly went to the back. A few seconds later the sounds of the Studio Killers filled the cafe. 

Harley frowned then smiled. “Okay much better!” 

* 

Half an hour later Joker—who had given up pushing the shopping cart, handing the job over to Bob—moved through the store along with Bob and John, who was walking beside Joker. Joker had his arm around John's shoulder again as if the two of them were the bestest of friends as they headed to the front of the store, their cart loaded with groceries. Joker looked ready to shoot someone out of sheer boredom. 

Joker glanced sideways at John. “I hate shopping. Unless it's for something fun, like bombs or bullets. Oh! Or clothes! I love shopping for clothes!” 

Joker grinned turning to glance over his shoulder at Bob. “Remember when we raided that military outlet store Bob?” 

Bob nodded with a big smile. Joker grinned. “Now that was fun! So many guns and knives.” 

Joker giggled with delight at the memory. “I set the stores clerks up in a row against the wall and practiced my knife throwing! Clearly I needed the practice! I hit three of the five of them in the chest when I was aiming for their eyes. I will tell you this for free John, ya gotta keep practicing your skills or you get rusty. Know what I mean?” Joker ducked his head to look John, who walked with his head down, staring at the floor, in the eye. 

“Yes sir, Joker, sir. Practice,” John said causing Joker to laugh and smack him hard on the shoulder. “Good man John, good man. Wanna hear a joke?” Joker grinned. 

John, knowing he had no choice nodded. “Sure Joker sir.” 

Joker grinned as they walked along. “Okay, this kid is working at a store. He says, “Cash, check or charge?" after folding the clothing items the woman wished to purchase. 

As she fumbled for her wallet the kid noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. 

He asks. "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" 

"No," she replied, “But my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally." 

Joker laughed, Bob did something that John assumed was a laugh. John smiled and nervously laughed. “Yeah, I get it.” 

Joker chuckled. “I like you John.” Joker chuckled, clapping John hard on the back. “I think you are going to live through the evening!” 

* 

They finally headed to the front doors after Bob had been insistent, in his silent way, on what groceries they had to pick up for the hideout along with the pumpkin spice necessities for Harley's coffee. Froot Loops of course, then Bob had mimed that they needed milk, soda, coffee, frozen Salisbury steaks...blah blah blah...The only thing that managed to get Joker through this ordeal was in the cereal aisle, dumping all the cereal boxes with prizes and seeing if he could find the prize...or rather, seeing if John could find the prize. Watching John on the floor searching through cereal for toys had Joker laughing. 

The three of them headed out to the SUV that Joker and his little gang had showed up in at the coffee shop. John quickly helped Bob load the vehicle up while Joker sat behind the wheel groaning and bouncing his forehead against the wheel. 

“Can you guys hurry up?” 

“Sorry Joker sir!” John said nervously shoving bags of groceries into the back of the SUV while Bob didn't seem the least bit upset or in a hurry. He would smile at John and nod his head. John found it almost as unnerving at Joker's maniacal grin and laughter. 

Once the groceries where in the vehicle, John slipped into the back while Bob wiggled in next to him. Joker rolled his eyes and head in exasperation. “Finally!” 

* 

When Harley saw the SUV through the coffee shop window pull up to the front of the shop, she squealed clapping her hands. She was on the counter where she had been dancing with her mallet to Dua Lipa's “Hotter than Hell” while the baristas watched her with terror. The old couple occasionally glanced over, but were content to sip on their coffee and continue whatever conversation they were having together. Frost had moved the body of the now ex-henchman over to the corner of the cafe and was back at his position by the door. The last henchman had not moved from his spot, sitting quietly, his hands and gun in his lap, hoping he was able to go home later. 

Joker stepped through the door, his arm around John's shoulders as if they were old pals, while John carried the pumpkin spice spice and syrup. 

“Puddin!! You're back!” Harley giggled from her position on the counter. 

Joker smiled happily. “We are! Our forging has borne fruit. Though if I have to go shopping again I will shoot someone.” 

That was when he noticed the dead guy in the corner. Joker stopped in his tracks, releasing John with a smack on the rear, pushing the young man toward the counter. “Okay coffee boy, make with the coffee for my girl.” 

“Harley, really?” He turned to frown at her. 

“Sorry puddin, but he was stupid.” Harley sank back down and sat on the counter, her booted feet hanging off the side. “He was whining about robbing the place and getting paid.” 

Joker shrugged. “Oh, okay then. Good help is so hard to find.” He spun away from studying the dead man. “Anyway.” 

Joker strolled over to the counter and reached up to take Harley's hand, hauling himself up with her. “Have the rest of you behaved?” 

Joker gazed down with a wide grin at the terrified baristas. The small group of them nodded. 

“Good.” Joker winked at them. 

John was busy at the machines making Harley's coffee when Joker yelled. “Dance music please!” 

Harley giggled, dropping her mallet as Joker swept her into his arms. 

“I missed you my little minx.” Joker purred, the two of them carefully, yet gracefully dancing on the counter as the young woman who had changed the music earlier prayed again that her selection would not get her killed. 

The sounds of The Lumineers started to play, and everyone prayed this was almost over. 

* 

Making the coffee only took John a few minutes. He kept his attention divided between Joker and Harley dancing on the counter, to the guy watching the door, the other who hadn't moved from his spot sitting quietly with his gun in his lap, to Bob who was slow dancing by himself in the middle of the floor. Mentally, while he worked, he kept thanking God that they hadn't started breaking things down for clean up or this would take a lot longer and they might all have been dead already. 

* 

Finally after a few minutes John came up front holding a large steaming cup of pumpkin spice latte. John secured a lid to the drink and slipped a coffee cup sleeve around it. John did his best smile. “Here you go, one pumpkin spice latte.” 

Harley squealed and hopped off the counter with Joker, reaching for the cup. She held it up to her nose, taking a long, deep sniff of the delicious autumn scent, then let our a sigh of contentment. 

“Oooh it smells so good! Oh thank you puddin!!” Harley set the steaming cup down and threw herself into Joker's arms. Joker caught her with a laugh wrapping his arms tight around her. 

“Anything for you sweets, anything at all.” 

Harley purred. “You are such a sweetheart puddin!” 

“Don't say that out loud Pumpkin! I might have to kill everyone in here!” Joker giggled. (All the baristas' eyes widened as one, their expressions terrified.) 

Harley whispered. “I think you deserve a reward puddin...” she giggled covering his mouth, her tongue greedily seeking his. 

Joker growled returning her kiss with equal enthusiasm. He reached up, removing her top hat and dropped it on the counter before sliding his hands down her body. The two of them stumbled back from the counter, kissing each other desperately and backed up until they stumbled into one of the shop's tables. 

Joker growled again. “How about a coffee shop quickie?” 

Harley giggled. “Oh puddin!” 

* 

John's eyes turned huge. What the hell is happening NOW?! He thought to himself. He had gone back over to his fellow baristas when one of them hissed. “Aren't they going to leave?” 

John frowned with an uncomfortable glance at them. Joker and Harley had started pawing at each other. 

“Shit,” he muttered. “I don't think so...” 

* 

Joker released her mouth with another growl as he turned Harley around and yanked her slacks down. He quickly bent her over the table, spreading her legs with his foot, but stopped long enough to realize she still had smiley faces painted on her rear. Joker laughed, giving her backside a smack. 

“Oh I do love a smiling face.” 

Harley spread her arms across the table, squealed with a giggle when he smacked her rear, then gasped when he thrust into her, leaning against her and grabbing her hair, digging his fingers into the thick, golden locks. 

Harley groaned. “Oh puddin...” 

Joker hissed, his pelvis smacking hard and fast into her from behind. “Harley-grrll....” 

He shoved her shirt and jacket up, exposing part of her lower back, the fingers of his hands sliding up her smooth skin while he thrust into her. 

Harley cried loudly, coming nearly as soon as he entered her, feeling that hard, heavy stab of his erection cleaving into her was delicious. She tightened around him whimpering with pleasure with each thrust. 

* 

Frost had quickly signaled Bob when he realized what was about to happen. Frost and Bob had worked out a system (a silent system) to make sure the two of them were on high alert whenever the Boss and Miss Quinn decided to have a go at each other while on a job...which was quite frequent. Bob quickly moved into position, covering the baristas, while Frost watched the door and the elderly couple. The remaining henchman had quickly turned his chair around when he had realized what was happening. 

* 

Joker dug his fingers into her hips with his one hand loving the feel of her soft skin giving to his grip, yanking back on her hair with the other, grunting with each thrust, his legs starting to tremble as he rushed to completion. Harley moaned loudly, the table rattling on its thin metal legs, making a great deal of noise. He shuddered at the feel of her warm, wetness around him, the flood of fluid when she came, her little gasps and whimpers, the way she cried out when he made her climax... 

Harley held onto the table like a life-line. Joker's thrusting hips kept finding just the right spot to hit, which caused her knees to become wobbly, when she cried out again, her climax hot and fast. 

Joker let go of her hair, grabbing her hip with his other hand, squeezing hard into her flesh with one final thrust, expelling everything he had into her with a loud deep groan.”Uuhh...Harley...” 

* 

They stayed connected for a few more seconds, both of them needing a moment to catch their breath. Joker slowly pulled away from her with a soft grunt as shivers ran through him. He pulled his own pants up, then helped Harley before spinning her around to kiss her. Harley giggled wrapping arms around his neck. “Mmm...Puddin...” 

Joker sighed happily rubbing his nose against hers. “Okay—time to go.” 

Harley giggled and skipped back over to the counter grabbing her hat and coffee. 

“Thank you guys so much!” She giggled holding the coffee up before skipping back over to her Joker. 

Joker put his arm around her waist, a bright smile on his face as he waltzed to the door. At the last moment he turned around. 

“We came, we saw, we came again, now we're off! Bye bye!!” 

Harley giggled, waving over her shoulder as the four of them strolled out the door. 

* 

The henchman they left behind just stayed sitting at the table shaking his head. John stared at the door waiting for them to come back, but he saw through the glass the SUV turn around and leave. 

John looked around in a daze, his gaze finally landing on the elderly couple. 

“You, you guys all right?” he asked, still in shock. 

The elderly couple simply smiled, the elderly man replying. 

“Sure sonny, live in Gotham as long as we have, you've seen everything.” 

That was when one of the baristas passed out, hitting the floor with a loud thunk.


End file.
